Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What Happened to the 30 Day Challenge?

Welll… You see… there was this thing.  And then this other thing.  And in the end, I sorta… well. Yeah.

I’m inclined to be extremely melodramatic and say something akin to, “This has been the busiest month of my LIFE!”

Something tells me that’s not true, though it very well could have been.

Regardless, this has been a busy month and one that didn’t lend itself to quiet contemplation and reflective thought (which I require in order to write). 

So, yeah. No.  No writing.  I’m only writing this at 3:30am because I ended up staying up too late stressing out over bills I forgot to pay (done now!) and then texting with TDO and then Facebook called to me and, um, yeah.  No writing except this scrambled post full of excuses for why I haven’t been writing and why I haven’t been sleeping and why I can’t get a damn thing done.

In my defense, Wood Badge is taking up a lot more of my time and energy than I expected.  Seriously.  When I got my heart set on going, I honestly thought that Wood Badge would be a two weekend deal where I’d get to sit in on some seminars, talk to other leaders, learn some new lingo, do a little camping, and come home refreshed and fired up to be the best leader I can be.  Now, I’m not saying none of that happened, I’m saying it’s all that and about a thousand things more.

Really, without giving too much away (go for yourself… seriously… you need to experience it to really “get” it) Wood Badge is more like shoving a redwood into a soda bottle terrarium.  There’s so much knowledge to absorb.  There are so many lessons and so many details.  And yeah, I know, you’re not supposed to get every tiny detail and run with every single concept, but the way I look at it, if I’m there using up my time, I want to get as much out of it as possible.  Sponge Mode (tm) doesn’t much work if I don’t get to a) take time out to quietly contemplate and meditate on what I’ve absorbed or b) put to practice what I’ve learned immediately to see if I’m actually getting it.  Ah, yeah.  Quiet contemplation?  No.  Immediate application?  Yes and no.  Because, keep in mind, there’s not much wiggle room in this soda bottle for experimentation what with this huge redwood crammed in here.

So between the forming and storming and norming and performing and between the explaining and demonstrating and guiding and enabling… um.  Mostly, there was (for me) just a chance to feel very overwhelmed and lost in the shuffle.  Instead of feeling empowered, I felt like I had even less of a clue than when I went in.  I guess it is true, the more you learn, the more you realize how little you actually know.  There have been some very amazing “Ah-Ha!” moments, and more than a few opportunities for me to really push my own personal boundaries and try new things including, but not limited to writing a time sensitive agenda, using a sewing machine, watching and then participating in a PLC meeting, taking on a project management position, and last but not least, finding ways to merge working styles within a very diverse group.

Sounds so lovely, doesn’t it?  Dreamy.

Mmnyeah, it has been in some regards, but no one told me about The Project.  No one told me of how many hours (on top of all of my regular responsibilities) I’d be investing in the interim between Wood Badge weekends.  No one mentioned the 15 hour days.  These things were sort of overlooked in the brochure, I guess.  And like the idiot I am, I also decided to take on even more scouting tasks (minor, but still) because I just can not curb the “I’ll do it!” habit.  I LIKE getting involved.  I love being a part of things.  But wow.  Sometimes I really wish my lips came with a zipper so I’d have to think before those words popped out of my mouth.  (Heh, the “I’ll Do It” comes from Sabrina, Day Camp Director and Scouter Extraordinaire, incidentally.  That was the title of my Day Camp award for helping out this past June.)

So yeah. That’s what happened to the 30 Day Challenge. I really had meant to write every day for 30 days.  I really had meant to (at least) post my entry I wrote while camping in July. (If you want to read it and are a registered BSA volunteer, it’s on my blog over there. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait for another day when I can C&P it over to here.)

Maybe next month?

Posted by Liberty at 03:29 AM

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