Sunday, September 15, 2013

Six Months To Live

Sometimes getting a solid conversation out of TDO is hard.  I actually have a list of questions on my phone I dig out when I’m desperate to get a “real” conversation out of him and don’t know what to talk about (since what I want to talk about so rarely inspires him.)  Sometimes it gets me good conversation - from the kids, if not always from him, at least.  Texting and/or email seems to be our best modes of conversation and it also means they’re preserved.  Tonight’s was definitely something:

Me:  If you had just six more months to live, how would you spend them? What would you do? Where would you want to go?

TDO: I would try to spend them not wondering what I was dying of. I would desperately want 1 on 1 time w you We could visit every sand beach on earth.

Me:  Even the pink sand one? smile

TDO: I’d run nakkid with you through a field of flowers. And love every second I guess I’d just want to hold you. And kiss you. And play. No work. I’d rob a bank for you, too.  You?

Me:  Hehe. We could go on a crime spree.

Me:  I would say all the things I don’t say because I don’t want to live with the consequences. I would ask you to take those six months off and keep me busy night and day so I didn’t have to think about “what next”

TDO:  Yea. Oh. Hmm. I’d eat Spree candy everyday too.

Me:  I would want to document every moment in photos and journals and tell my kids how much I lived for them and how I expect them to live for me when I’m gone.

TDO:  Your answers are better than mine

Me:  We could eat sprees in front of bastian and tell him that they were the last in the world. wink

Me:  Heh I would write cards for each of the kids for them to open on their birthdays when I’m gone. I guess enough to carry them to 80? Heh. I would eat gummy bears for breakfast and tell people on the street how nice they look or how much they are loved

TDO:  Awe. Yea. Your better. I’d buy the kids homes and hire people to write on their walls in crayon.

Me:  Or just tell them to smile bc someone is thinking of them.  I would want to travel with you. Road trip down to Mexico and through South America. See all the little villages and meet real people - not tour guides. See life happening.

TDO: And drink the water?

Me:  Fuck no. Tequila.

TDO:  Ha Sexy girl

Me:  And expensive champagne. And weird native drinks made of jungle plants and bug poo.

Me:  I’d want to laugh and laugh about all the stupid things. And to feel your arms around me every day until I go into the darkness so the feeling is so imprinted it lasts long after I’m gone.

TDO:  I’d buy a lathe and make wooden things to sell in Mexico. Heh. To pay for tequila.

TDO:  I would cry. Because I don’t want six months with you - I want sixty years.

TDO:  Don’t leave me please.

Remember when I used to beg the same of him?

Posted by Liberty at 11:10 PM

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