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Tuesday, January 01, 2002

Seductions II (His and Hers Outcomes)

Well, I’m sort of combining entries because we accomplished our missions pretty much at the same time.  Let me preamble this by saying that I really was hoping he’d accomplish his on his own, without prompting and without me having to do mine first.  I felt disappointed because for the longest time, it seemed he wasn’t going to do his unless I asked him outright to do it.  What I was unaware of was that he was continuously working on his throughout the week.  I guess he should have been less subtle.  Anyhow, on with the grading.

His

His seduction involved making an effort to be affectionate and loving.  He was supposed to work on spending more time, energy and skill kissing me than he usually does.

Effort: C+ He did try.  I guess.  But certainly not more than usual.  I was sadly disappointed when I finally realized that what I had received up to that point in time (when we were discussing our seductions) was all I was going to get.  Period.  Woo.  I did sneak a peek at his seduction, and let me just say, he didn’t follow the directions as carefully as he should have or he would have received an altogether different response from me.  Oh well.

Timing: B- He did kiss me in public and sometimes in the mornings before work.  (And, of course, by kissing I mean really kissing, not just a peck on the cheek.  However, there were many times when he picked inconvenient (um, hello, I’m changing a freaking diaper at the moment!) or inappropriate (the doctor just asked me a question, dumbass, how can I talk with your tongue down my throat?) times, and he certainly could have offered up more frequent lip wrestling activities.  Oh well.

Style: Bleck.  I really hate to say it, but I give him a D.  I won’t fail him completely because I love him and don’t have the heart to, but really.  Bleck.  He’s never been a great kisser, but it’s actually been worse since he got the seduction.  I took a peek at what he was supposed to do and one of the things it says, quite clearly, is not to cram your freaking tongue so far into her ear canal a doctor must surgically remove it.  That, unfortunately, was exactly what he spent a great deal of time doing.  Considering I have double ear infections, it was one of the least pleasant sensations I’ve experienced in my life… and it was annoying.  Did he kiss my toes, the backs of my knees, my belly button, my back, or my fingertips?  No.  He stuck with the same old, humdrum, boring places as always: lips, ears and neck.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being kissed there, but the whole point of his seduction was to be a Kissing Machine, loving every inch of my body with his luscious lips (and yes, they are luscious!) *sigh* Very frustrating.  He needs to learn a bit more control and discipline.  Not necessarily “less” tongue, just more precise tongue.

Overall Effect: I didn’t even realize he was doing the “seduction”—though by all of the tongue-in-the-ear-canal crap, I eventually did guess.  Was it sexy and did it make me want to jump his bones?  No.  If he had better executed his mission, would I have?  Oh hell yeah.  I love being kissed.  Who doesn’t?  For overall effect, he slides by with a C

Hers

I’ve already explained what my mission was, so I won’t repeat myself.

Effort: C- Eventually, I pulled through, but I didn’t actually get out there and do the shopping and planning that I should have.  In the end, if my friend hadn’t grabbed me up and whisked me away, I’m not sure when - or if - I’d ever have shopped for the vibrator.  Even though I knew he’d be intensely interested in this seduction, I was a little shy about investing the time and money into it and should have been much more eager to please.

Timing: C Again, I did the “slide by” kind of thing.  As far as planning goes, it took me entirely too long to pull this off.  I should have accomplished my seduction in a timely manner instead of putzing about like I did.  However, when I actually finished the planning the timing went fairly well after that, though I really should have built up more anticipation.  By then, he’d already waited for longer than he should have so it seemed silly to making him wait for days more.  When I finally allowed him to open his present I picked a quiet time when all of the kids were asleep and we were both fresh and happy and relaxed enough to actually enjoy it.  In that regard, I did well.

Style: Maybe I’m bragging a little on this one, but by the reaction I received, I deserve a good grade on this one.  I give myself an A.  Without going into too much gory detail, let me say that it’s all in the position.  If you manage to get just the right position, this little toy can be quiet ((understatement)) enjoyable for both partners.

Overall Effect: Despite my slow start, the reaction(s) on this one were overwhelming.  “That was the best sex of my life!” was a comment that shall live in my brain forever.  I don’t think he was exaggerating.  Much.  In any case, I give this one an A+ even if the plus is more for the seduction itself than for my own talent, skills, or effort.

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