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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Change Is Hope

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety over the potential transfer/move.  (Obviously.)  last night TDO surprised me by taking me out for a late dinner, during which I conveyed frustration at the whole “not knowing”.  I’ve been trying to see the big picture so much, I haven’t really paid much mind to the details, so his reply threw me.

“Unless I pull the transfer request, I AM getting the transfer.”

Imagine me slow blinking in non-understanding like an adorable anime cartoon.  It’s cuter than the reality, but makes for a lovely picture, yes?

He reminded me that he put his transfer in for not one office, but two.  One is (depending on from which point to which point) 45 minutes away from where we want to live.  Certainly not ideal, but less of a commute than other folks I know make.  There are three people transferring out of that office and he’s the only one (so far) who wants in, so yeah.  Even if he doesn’t get the office we are hoping for, he IS transferring unless he pulls the paperwork before the deadline.

I hurriedly dropped the subject.  I need time to process that.  It alleviates the “not knowing” to some extent, but it also means everything is sitting on the precarious edge of change. 

Change is scary - and hard.  But if I learned nothing else from Wood Badge training, I learned that you can either help usher in the change or you can become a victim of change.  You can prepare and educate and adjust for change or you can let it wash over you and potentially drown you in an overwhelming wave.

We still have the power to hold this change back, if we so choose, but at what expense?  Change is survival and stagnancy death.  Change is hope.

And I think THAT is the root of the worst of my fears.  Hope.  Not because hope is so bad but because I have been let down so many times that it feels like there is no point in hoping.

Posted by Liberty on 05/11 at 06:29 AM
Posted under: DS

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