Thursday, December 06, 2001

His Seduction (Mission #1)

For the whole past week, hubby’s been calling me his “pussy cat” or “pretty kitty.“  In all honesty, I thought it was out of jealousy because someone has been sending me very cool cards in the mail.  He has gone as far as to call at like 10:30 at night (when he’s at work and I’m online) and leave messages of him purring or mewing or… whatever.  It’s cute, don’t get me wrong, but it was also… I dunno, strange.

Well, tonight when he came home early from work, he started jumping all over the place exclaiming, “Ew… ants! Ants!“  The boy is terrified of spiders, and yeah, we DO have an ant problem, but… I mean… weird.  Hello.  So I went over to him, giggling, looking all over for them, and he said, “In my pants!  I have ants in my pants!“  To which, of course, I replied, “That make you do that boogy dance?“  So I playfully unzipped his pants and sure enough… there were the ants.  Hundreds of them.  All over his… boxers. He has never worn boxers before.

Now, the rest involves technique and would involve a lot of explaining that I’m not really prepared to do, but let’s just say, the experience was good.  We stopped about 3/4 of the way through, though.  I know… lame, huh?  I could tell he wasn’t going to reach climax though, and when I asked why not, he admitted to having a splitting headache.  As I had the same sinus headache earlier in the evening, I could totally empathize, so I got him some medicine and pulled out the massage oil to rub down his neck and shoulders.  I’ll go ahead and do a nice little report card for him.

Effort:  I’d have to say only a B+.  It took him long enough and really, his wasn’t a hard one and shouldn’t have taken much to put together.  The kitty cat thing was just something he added in himself, and had nothing to really do with the actual seduction.  His had more to do with style than anything else and could have been performed a long time ago. 

Planning: Now, while I’ll never know the full extent of what it took for him to plan this, I’ll have to give him a B.  He obviously was thinking about this during the past week, but I still think it was lacking.  He did plan on coming home early from work today, and he did get the boxers (that was purely for my benefit because I always tell him how sexy I think boxers are… wasn’t part of his “mission”) but again, I think he could have pulled his actual seduction off a long time ago.

Timing: Jenica had *just* gone to bed and was stil whimpering in the other room.  He had a spllitting headache and couldn’t dedicate himself to the project entirely.  Then again, the kids normally would have all been in bed, it was just than Jenica was off her schedule, and he did plan it for a time when I’m not normally consumed with a million other things.  Still… the timing was just slightly off.  I give him a C.

Style:  I’m really not quite sure what his mission was exactly, though I know it had to do with style and technique.  He gets an A.  Whether or not he accomplished his mission, he was sexy, seductive, gentle and attentive.  A little rushed, but who am I to talk about that? 

Overall: Well, just slightly over a B but not quite a B+.  It was good.  It wasn’t hot and steamy, though.  He did a lot of building of anticipation during the week, but fell short of what I had expected.  Like promising someone a salad then delivering them a single tomato.  Heh.  Admittedly, though, it was much better than usual.

In Other Years:

Scattered (2005)

And the fragments of china scattered and buried on our mountain are like the broken and…[Read More]

Most Embarrassing Moment (2004)

It occurred to me while thinking of things to write that I have never (to…[Read More]

The Stockings Were Hung… (2004)

  Read More]

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Comments

Aimee  at  12/06/01 03:28 PM

Oh, that is just too cool.  Hehehee.  Ants in his pants.  I’m glad he got a B.  I mean, an A+ would have been better, but it was his first try, right?

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Andrea  at  12/06/01 06:31 PM

I think a B is a great grade for his first try.  Just think, it should get better from there.

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Supafly  at  12/08/01 01:48 AM

Bear in mind, he had a week-long timetable in which to work, and that was his last night ... he probably wanted to postpone for the sensible and obvious reasons you listed, but also perhaps wanted to prove that he could follow through with something in the given guidelines. I would give him some extra credit, just for trying in the face of adversity to do something as he promised he would do, -when- he would do it

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Crack_Kytti  at  12/08/01 08:37 PM

PS that cat looks like its on crack.

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