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Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Kind

Today’s word ties in nicely with yesterday’s for a number of reasons, but I’ll get into that in a moment.

As many who read this know - I’m heavily involved in Scouting and one of the 12 points of the Boy Scout Law is “Kind” - it’s a RULE people!  Okay, not a rule, but an ideal to which we try to hold ourselves. While I may not dig a lot of what BSA stands by, (y’all know what I’m talking about) the twelve points of the Scout Law are excellent guides for judging whether or not what we’re doing is “on track”.  It’s important that we be kind to others, to nature, to property, and to ourselves, right?  It’s natural that I’d pick one of the points of the Scout Law as one of my “words”, but this one has special meaning today.

I went to the post office yesterday.  I am desperate to reclaim some of my independence and ability to be productive - while I still can, because I’m fairly terrified of the idea of being “helpless” post surgery.  I had a package to mail, but I also wanted to pick up the mail and go through it.  TDO is notorious for just shoving mail under the seat of his car and forgetting about it and bills go unpaid, letters go unanswered, checks go uncashed, etc.  Pretty standard mail menu: Costco Connections magazine (whyy????), medical bill, mail to tell us to go paperless for our mortgage even though we already are (ummm? you sent me paper to tell me to stop wasting paper?), blahblah junk mail that got tossed to the recycle bin and… wait… what’s this?

A small manila envelope with my name neatly penned in all caps.  Sent first class.  From ... Pennsylvania??  No name, just an unfamiliar return address.

Now a normal person who hadn’t spent the last few months being beaten down by the universe would get that little thrill, that excited, “Ooh! what’s this?” and tear into it immediately.  A normal ME would be happy dancing and giddy with glee singing, “I got a package, I got a package!”  Never-you-mind if all that it happened to contain were sample tampons, I’d have normally been dancing on the ceiling.  I mean, whatever.  It’s a FREAKIN PACKAGE!  Right?  RIGHT?

Instead, I felt a sinking dread.  I felt the package and ran through my mind of people I knew in PA.  I remembered one, and immediately dismissed the idea - not his gig to send me something at all, much less without notice.  Hmm, it felt rectangular and sort of… folded.  Like a game CD case might feel only smaller?  (Yeah, my geeky mind is SO imaginative, right?)  I started to get really uncomfortable and - get this - scared.  For a split second I almost threw the envelope in the trash.  I was paranoid that it was something out to hurt me (emotionally, anyway) - I won’t go into details of what I thought it was, because it only lasted a moment, but it was still dreadful.  Then I remembered: Today’s word is HOPE. 

It did take me until I got out of the post office and into the car to get up the courage to keep the envelope, and it took me until the drive home before opening it - but in part because I was hoping, and get this, I was enjoying hoping.  I wasn’t hoping for a specific thing, but rather for a specific ideal.  I was hoping whatever was inside would be kind.  I didn’t care what it was - a box of kleenex, a game (again with the geek), a deck of cards, a bundle of letters written specially for me - it didn’t matter, as long as it wasn’t a bat smashing me across the face.

It was exactly what I was hoping for - times a million.

I pulled out the rectangular object, and on top was an unadorned, unaddressed envelope.  I opened the envelope immediately without even looking at the thing that was under it, and pulled out a beautiful card.  I would share a photo/scan of the card (copyright laws? Pish…) but there’s a reason I won’t… but I’ll explain later.  Let me just explain that on the card there’s a mysterious looking tree with an adorable faun nestled in its branches playing pipes while fairies flit all around and out of the tree.  It was, in a word: magical.  Inside were five sentences penned in perfect scrolling cursive - every word soaked in that thing I was most hoping for:  KIND.  The words don’t matter, (well, they do to me, but I am jealously guarding them as my own and not sharing them here.)  I teared up.  I hugged the card to me, sappy sucker that I am, and then I looked and saw what it was that was sent: a portfolio of cards and envelopes. 

Now understand, this is a twofold gift.  What is kindness received if not returned and/or shared?  In particular, I love sending little cards and care packages, so this was a gift that I knew I would find repeat joy in - not just in the receiving but in the sharing of this gift, as well.

This is where words fail me and I just say, “OMG TIRZAH! TY.”

Because.  I’m all eloquent and shit.  Heheh.

Please know, that I have received some amazingly supportive and sweet emails and I’d name names but I’d forget someone and then someone would get feelings hurt, so let me say - I LOVE YOU ALL and thank you.  The amazing kindness from friends and stranger friends has been overwhelming and appreciated.  People have given of their time, of their energy, offered actual tangible resources, shared stories and fears and laughs, offered shoulders to cry on and (albeit virtual) lasagna, and given me honest, forthright advice when I asked for it. It is this kindness, these emails and IMs and phone calls and texts that have left me willing to push past irrational fear and paranoia that would have me literally throw away kindness and open myself up to the possibility that, yes, there is hope.  Yes, people can be kind.

Yes, the world can be good again.

Thank you.

Posted by Liberty on 03/02 at 12:24 AM
Posted under: ScoutsSee-ThroughWriting PromptNaBloPoMo

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Comments

Liberty Liberty  at  03/02/11 02:01 AM

Oops! I forgot to explain why I didn’t want to scan the cards!  Well DUH - someday you might get one.  And I want YOU (whoever you are) to be surprised when you do. smile

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