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Friday, June 17, 2005

Questions (Part 1)

I’m sad that only one person had a question for me.  Or have you all just given up and gone home leaving me with no readers?  Or maybe I already have answered all the questions there are?  (That is what I was afraid of, truth be told.)  Alright, fair enough.  I’ll answer the ONE question I got, and if other people get brave and decide to “leave a comment”:http://colorfully-see-through-head.com/index.php/csth/comments/ask_me_no_more/ and ask me more questions, I’ll answer those, too.

If you had to seduce someone of your choice, how exactly would you do it. You can control the time, setting, place, and atmosphere, this is in ideal conditions.

The way this is phrased, I have to say it puts me in a tough position to answer, because for one, I wouldn’t *want* to seduce someone if I _had_ to seduce them.  That is to to say, “seduce” sort of has a negative connotation in that it sort of seems like it’s one person convincing another person to have sex with them.  If both parties aren’t already mutually willing, it sort of defeats the purpose, in a way.  I realize that isn’t precisely what was meant by “seduce” though, but “had” to, well, again with the whole spin on words… it seems like, “Well, you don’t like this person and this person doesn’t like you, but if you were forced to, how would you go about it…” 

Throwing the “ideal conditions” part in, and excluding the “had to”, I guess the question basically is asking how I’d go about seducing the person of my choice.  Thank God this wasn’t a question of _who_ I would choose, eh?  Hrm, alright, provided I knew this person was equally willing and interested, I think I would opt for the romantic dashed with a bit of spontaneous.  No, I’m not really a romantic through and through, but the vein in me that is runs deep.  Besides, I think for the person I’m thinking of, it would probably be the best way.

This would probably entail literally showing up on a doorstep, unannounced.  I love surprising people, though I’ve not had much practice and I admit to not being very good at it.  Still, it’s something I envision doing.  Dressed only in a big red bow sounds appealing and amusing, but realistically, people have neighbors and neighbors like to call the police, so doing so probably wouldn’t be a wise idea, so I think just “dressed up” would suit the purposes of this seduction.

Doing a one sided conversation is a bit hard, and since I don’t know how my victim, er, love would react, it’s hard to dialog this.  I suppose I would try to be sweet and cute but not insipid with something like, “Do you have a map?  I seem to be lost in your eyes.”  Provided that one seemed too cheesy for the moment or I get a bit tongue tied at finally being faced with the crucial moment in which I absolutely have to make a good impression, else all my efforts are wasted, I’d probably just use the old standby of, “Nice shoes,” and wait for the shock of me just showing up without warning settle.  Before the realization has fully sunken in, I’d extend an offering of peace for the presumable shock, probably a single flower, though not a rose (too cliché).

Now, ideally, I would somehow mystically know that my victim, er, there I go again, _love interest_ was free, because lemme tell you, the last time I “showed up” unannounced I sat waiting on a doorstep for my love interest to show up for nearly six mothafucking hours.  By the time he arrived, I was tired, hungry, annoyed, hot, and not at all in the mood to seduce or be seduced.  The friend who had driven with me was also irritable beyond belief and she was not about to LET me seduce or be seduced based on the fact that _she_ had been sitting on a doorstep waiting for nearly six mothafucking hours.  Bad. Very Bad Weekend.  Doesn’t matter, love interest turned out to be gay and if anything had happened between us we’d have regretted it for years later.

Ah, but I digress.  Seduction, yes.

Um… Let’s see, ‘Surprise, here I am!’, cheesy line, flower… ah yeah… from there, I will know my _love interest_ is free for the evening so I’ll casually mention something about going out for a meal at a specific restaurant where I’ve already arranged for reservations.  Somewhere nice but not fancy, so that provided love interest isn’t wearing pajamas, we’re good to go whenever, but made enough in advance that if we have to stop for 1/2 hour of primping or whatever, no rush.

Ideally, we’d walk to the restaurant so we could chat along the way.  A few gentle touches, just… touch and retreat type of thing, nothing lingering, would definitely get the mood started.  Conversation would be light and funny, but nothing that screamed, “I’m trying too hard!”  Once we were at the restaurant I’d order something filling, (a rumbling tummy is NOT romantic or sexy) but not heavy and nothing that’d cause breath issues (in spite of my insane love for onions.)  More light touches, a hand on a hand, a pat on the upper part of an arm, light brushing of foot on leg… little things.  But nothing overwhelming or continuous.  Touch, pull away, beaming smile and direct eye contact, then subtle blush and look away… the dance we all know innately, though some of us fudge up when we start _thinking_ too hard about it.

Again, if I were able to control the situation completely (but then, if I were, why would I be working so hard to seduce?) the weather would be great and there’d be a chance for more walking and talking.  Maybe slip my hand into my love’s and briefly give it a squeeze… if I receive a squeeze back, I’ll leave the hand, if there’s a reluctance to hold on, I’ll pull away again.  After several tries, if the hand holding thing doesn’t work, I tell ya, I’d pack up my shit and be on my way, but provided hand holding were to ensue, I think from there it would just be a matter of continuing the dance until things became more intimate.

A stroll back “home” where I’d take a moment to assess the situation and decide whether or not my love seemed receptive to a kiss.  I’d procure a chocolate dinner mint (chocolate IS an aphrodisiac, after all) and slip it into my love’s mouth, leaning in close, until our lips are almost touching.  “Share?” I’d murmur softly, closing my eyes and waiting for the chocolaty kiss.

At that point, if I didn’t get invited in for at least a good make out session, I’d know I was doomed for failure and would probably find other quarry, er, a different _love interest_.

Boring?  Perhaps.  Simple seems to work relatively well, though, and honestly, I have no grace or flair to pull off anything more remarkable unless I felt reasonably sure that this was a “sure thing” in which case my seduction would involve lingerie, silk scarves and an elaborately planned treasure hunt on a dark and stormy night.


Posted by Liberty on 06/17 at 02:17 AM
Posted under: Writing Prompt

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