Thursday, February 07, 2002
Seductions: Round 4
First, a few comments on my recent (and semi-recent) search hits.
WTF?? Sniffing CODINE? I don’t even wanna know. And secret panty hose? Uh… no, mine aren’t secret. Nope. Not at all. The whole “my secret lingerie drawer son” thing throws me for a loop, too. I get a general idea of what naughtiness someone’s looking for, but geeze. And lastly, and most importantly, I want to point out to the world in general, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SEXY NURSING BRA None. Zero. Zip. Ziltch. Sorry, folks. None. NONE, dammit! Ok, enough of that. On to what ya’ll come here for: the sex.
Let me say, my mission turned out very well. I’m feeling a bit lazy and don’t much feel like grading myself, so I’ll just offer up titilating details and give myself a
B+ with an overall effect of an A. My seduction was to make the bed off limits and have fun elsewhere, but since that wasn’t a big deal for us (we never have sex in bed anymore) I was considering actually making the bedroom a big deal. Sadly, I have Mount Laundry piled up in our room and face it, if it’s not a big turn off for him, it surely is for me.
Instead of all that, I made a point of making sure he was going to come home on time. He thought I wasn’t going to do a seduction this week, (I had lied and told him I wasn’t in the mood) and I made up some lame excuse that I needed him to hurry up and get home with cat food for the cats. Next, I lit a fire, filled the room with candles, and spread out naked on the floor. I was a glittering faery of seduction, smelling sweetly of perfume and sexual desire. Or, well, so I’d like to think and I’d rather no one spoil that image for me. Heh. I called his cell phone, complaining that the cats were at the door crying and he’d better hurry up. This was, of course, just to throw him for a loop so he wouldn’t expect anything. Sadly, he knows me too well. He said, “What? Are you tired of laying there naked waiting for me to come home.“ D’oh. As a matter of fact… but I had to play it off.
As he walked in, he was greeted by candle light and soft, seductive music. I said nothing, waiting patiently for him to come to me. When he did, I guided his hands to where I wanted them to be, and smothered him with tender kisses. The effect was wonderful. He was utterly shocked, amazed and thrilled. That’s my lesson for the week… well, it’s two parts, really. 1) Men like women to initiate and 2) a surprise is just as enticing (or more) as building up the anticipation.
Ole boy had it easy this seduction round. All he had to do was buy a butterfly (and figure out how to use it, LOL). There really was no build up of anticipation or anything. I think he had as much fun checking out the sex shop as I did, though. Next trip, we should go together. Heh. The effort on his part for this seduction was minimal, but it was fun. Maybe a straight
Bon this one just because the effort and outcome were, well, eh… good but not great.
Our new seductions have been drawn. He chose a little one called “Mercy.“ I have to laugh because I think he was thinking something along the lines of him dominating me and being all manly. Judging by his disgruntled grumblings about how, “Men aren’t that evil,“ I’m guessing his falls very short of what he expected. *snicker* Serves him right.
My seduction should be fun if I can figure out how to pull it off. I picked one that involved taking a trip in the car just to see what that was all about. Well, if we had no children and we both had regular 9-5 weekday jobs, it’d be pretty easy. Sadly, that’s not the way it works around here. I’m supposed to go to his work completely naked, wearing a trench coat and you know… flashing him here and there and everywhere. Take him to the video store… flash. Take him to run errands, flash… take him out for drinks… flash. Sounds great, I’ve got the coat and everything, but after all that sexy flashing out in public, he’s not going to want to bring the kids home to watch some Muppets movie. Well, I’d hope not, anyhow. So that means figuring out some way to be kid free for an afternoon, or working around the kids. Maybe planning on coming home right about bedtime and torturing him by making him wait until he gets them tucked into bed. Hmm… well, I’ll figure it out. Should be interesting.
Gee… I guess this means all you pervs out there can try to figure out when I’m going to do this and try to follow me around with a camera to try to catch a glimpse. Ha!
You know… there really is more to my life than sex, but when I write about that stuff, no one comes here. Sad, huh? So, sex it is. Enjoy. I know I do… 
In Other Years:
Fat Chance (2005)
I’ve been seriously disturbed by my jiggly belly of late. Not disturbed enough to do anything about it, mind you,…[Read More]
Robert at 08/27/03 03:16 AM
“Disturbing Search Requests” - http://searchrequests.weblogs.com/