Monday, May 20, 2002

Slumlords from Hell:  A Boring Rant

We?ve had problems with our slumlords since we moved in.  Promises of repairs that were never made, issues with not repaying us for work we?ve put in and debating it when we?d try to take it out of the next month?s rent.  Oh, and let us not forget the inspections with less than 24-hour notice and even just dropping by without any notice.  I?m ready to kill my slumlords.

They want to show the house before we move out.  It?s their right, and no matter how disruptive and intrusive as it may be, we don?t have any choice.  We have to let them do it.  Since they plan on showing the house, at their most recent last minute inspection, they explained that they wanted us to, no? demanded that we have the place professionally cleaned, have the carpets professionally cleaned, and do work on various areas of the house that had been in disrepair since before we moved in.  Oh, yes, and they asked if we could pack all of our stuff and keep it in the garage when they showed the house.  Oh, and could we please paint, while we were at it?  They also expected that the house and carpets be professionally cleaned again when we moved out. 

I wrote a letter in response to their demands stating what we would and would not do and quoting our tenant rights. ?While this is your house,? I wrote, ?Until June 15, this is our home, and we?d appreciate it if you could respect and understand that.?  They haven?t debated our rights or outright contradicted anything I?ve said but they?ve been prickly about the whole thing.

The icing on the cake was when the stupid whore called up at 9pm on the 9th insisting that she needed to have a tile layer come and do measurements to give an estimate.  That wasn?t an issue except she insisted that it had to be at 9am the next morning.  That?s just wrong.  Courtesy and professionalism demand at least 24-hour notice.  While I?m not terribly quick on my feet when talking to her, I did throw out that I had prior commitments at Devon?s school (I didn?t) and that it would have to be after he got out of school at 2pm.  She agreed that 2:30 would work for her.  No.  At 11:30 the next day, she called and said they were on their way over.

Now, I had already had the place clean, as I had anticipated her to start showing the house around the ?middle? of the month.  It was still too soon to have finished with everything, but I?d done a really good job, as far as I was concerned, especially considering I was trying to plan for my oldest son?s birthday and playing single mom to three small children.  Whatever.  I hadn?t touched my bedroom or bathroom, and didn?t even bother to try to tidy them up before they arrived, because I was under the assumption that the tile work to be done would be in the kitchen (tons of cracked and falling out tiles) and in the main bathroom (again, the tiles are literally FALLING off where they haven?t been properly grouted.) 

NO.  Oh no.  This woman is beyond reason.  She wants to have the master bathroom tiled.  Our bathroom is kinda funky.  There?s a sink area first, and then the shower/toilet area enclosed beyond that.  It works.  It?s fine.  It DOES NOT NEED TILE.  The counter and sink need to be replaced/repaired, but even they aren?t so bad.  The crack whore is insistent though.  Oh, and she also insists on having the family room (which is already tiled, though with a horrid pattern) retiled.  Why?  Why not focus on the shit that is literally falling apart, rather than the stuff that could ?look? nicer?  The whole time, she?s explaining to the tile guy, ?Well, I?m not sure how much money we?re going to have, yet.?  That translates to me that she fully anticipates on using our deposit to fund this little project.

Me?  Seething?  Pissed?  OH hell yeah.  More than that.

I?m so glad we?re going to be out of here.  I wanted so badly to make this entry funny, but to be perfectly honest, even I, Queen of Making Light and Goddess of Sarcasm and Exaggeration, cannot find humor in this situation.

Well.

Except for this:


This is the slumlady herself.  ?Chew know, hew guys rilly need to keep dat shower more cleeen.  Chew should maybe leek it cleen right now.  Leek it clean I say!!?

I had Sebastian snap the photo.  Good boy.  It was going to be a master project where I edited it and made her look totally evil, but really, it needed no editing.  She really is that evil.

Posted by Mommy on 05/20 at 01:27 AM
Posted under: Twisted Humor

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Comments

Tanya  at  05/20/02 04:17 PM

Chew know..

she does look evil.. OMG

thats my lanlady… LOL

just kidding.. You get her Liberty!

The Archon  at  05/21/02 05:43 PM

Imagine my surprise….she looks like an ESL. Great.  You have my sympathy, and my shotgun, should you need either.

Later, kid.

Oh, uh, ESL=English as a Second Language

miss_geek  at  05/22/02 12:16 AM

chew know… you rocked my world dis eve-nink smile

tasha  at  05/24/02 04:50 PM

i hate landlords ... and it’s no business how you live inside the home you are renting. it’s called privacy.

POOKA  at  05/27/02 02:07 AM

Definitely NOT as sexy as you… not even a comparison in there…

*EVIL LAFF*

rebecccAc  at  04/12/03 11:18 PM

THHE SITE IS SUPER SLOW. I CALL MY GERMAN SLUMLORD GESTOPO GIRL . THERE IS THE COMMUNITY ALLIANCE OF TENANTS IN PORTLAND OREGON 503 288 0130 . THE LANDLORDS NAME IS MERLIN RADKE AND HE OWNS 30 PROOPERPERTIE IN PORTLAND. I AM GOING TO GO DOOR TOL DOOR WITH HIS NAME AND H LE POEOPLE KNOW HOW TO BRING HIM DOWN BY TURNING HIM IN . WE HAVE 30 DAY NO CAUSE EVISTION IN OREGON STATE AND THERE ARE SO MANY EVIL LITTLE HITELRS HERE



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