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Friday, September 29, 2006

The Sound of Silence

The boys were just picked up to go on a Cub/Boy scout camp out for the weekend.  TDO will meet with them later this evening after he gets off work.  Jenica is over at her friend’s house for the afternoon/evening.  I imagine she’ll come home around bedtime.  That means I have hours to myself.  It’s SO quiet.  I had to turn on some music to cut the edge of the quiet some. 

It’s really sad.  I could do anything I wanted, pretty much.  I have the whole house to myself.  I could read, bead, surf the net, play WoW or Guild Wars, go for a walk, clean, organize, nap, sit out on the deck and just be, I could do just about anything.  But.  I don’t really want to do anything.  I feel sort of lost and like I’m wasting a rare opportunity, but I’ve no idea of how to take advantage of it, either.  Frustrating.

In all likelihood, I will spend a few minutes taking deep breaths and relaxing and doing nothing for a bit.  This week was a rough one.  TDO went out of town for a couple of days for training and the kids were just awful.  Devon is, erm, to say it nicely, turning into quite the teenager.  I’m never sure if I should kill myself or him.  Either way, it is becoming increasingly more painful for us as his hormones rage and my patience wears thin.  I need this quiet time, even if I don’t quite know what to do with it.

I guess maybe it’s like my therapist says.  I don’t have to do anything.

‘Cept maybe just enjoy the sound of silence and be grateful, I s’pose.

Posted by Liberty on 09/29 at 06:29 PM
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