Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Things I Haven’t Written - Except In My Head (so far)
Over the last few weeks, several posts have been simmering in the back of my mind. However, it recently came to my attention that I (potentially) had a new reader and I wasn’t sure how (or if) I wanted to expose myself given that I sort of know this reader. Not that this post was particularly thought provoking or revealing, but I’ve been sitting at the back of my cave just letting things go.
It never ceases to amaze and shock me at how people change as the years pass. The traits we desperately admire and envy in our youth become liabilities as we age, and often what we admire in our maturity we also resent and even on some levels despise as we realize it means the passing of youth. From a distance, it’s fascinating, but when I hug those observances to my heart, I definitely get more than a wee bit uncomfortable. There’s a post simmering about that somewhere in my head.
There’s also one about how necessity precipitates great changes and opportunities to build and prove strength, courage, and all kinds of other positive traits. So why is it parents strip their kids of these chances by taking away all needs? Yes, it’s our job to provide for our kids, but what happens when our children are not kids, anymore? It has been weighing heavily on my mind, and while I typically would use this format as a place to stumble blindly through my thoughts until I could make sense of them, I’m not sure I want my own blind confusion and ignorance to be left so vulnerably out in the open at the moment.
Then there’s the little bit about someone’s ghost coming to visit me… but you know, it was more of an amusing “what if” than an actual paranormal experience, and in the end, I think I may just let that one amuse the inner-me and leave it quietly to myself.
So the words are there. The stories are forming, the thoughts and ideas are racing, but the courage (of which I lacked none in the past) seems to have fizzled away.
This month is a month of graveyard shift, after a month of day shift - (he’s NEVER worked day shift before… ever! so that was hard enough to get used to!) so I suspect I’ll either be too exhausted to write or up late filling time writing as I try to establish a decent rhythm again.
Posted by Liberty on 02/04 at 12:00 AM
mamaerica at 02/04/09 06:46 AM
I really look forward to your insightful posts, so I hope you find the courage to post at least some of it, as a login-only maybe? I love to “hear” what’s going on in your head, often because you give voice to what’s going on in mine!