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Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thursday Thirteen Google Hits

There’s a blog entry cooking in my head, but I haven’t had the chance to gather all of my links and materials for it, so it’ll have to wait and this filler will have to keep you all coming back for more.  (Sheah, right.)

The last time I participated (halfassed) in Thursday 13, it was sort of a weird multiple-person rip off.  This time I’m just snagging it from So Lost because, well, because I feel like it.  Next week, I promise to do an original not-nearly-as-swiped Thursday Thirteen.

None of these should be much of a surprise because I’ve mentioned most of them in previous posts, which is probably only propagating even more search hits to come here.  It just amuses me, though, so here we go:

Thirteen Things Through Which Search Engines Have Found Me Recently

1.  The most obvious, the one that brings in more traffic than any other search, well, of course… See through Panties!  Ironically, they generally end up on my April Fools entry.  And yes, I’ve had people actually (even to this day) send information in hopes of getting free panties.  And yes.  They were all men.

A side note, various other versions of “panties” are requested via Google’s search engine, including, but not limited to, “Gold Panties” and “Granny Panties”, but I’m lumping those all together (along with the various “see through” products that are oft sought after, including dildos, vibrators, pajamas, pictures, boxers, thongs and bras) since they’re all equally amusing.

2.  Apparently, I’m not the only one who was in need of a Pink Laptop, so if you’re in the biz for laptops (or case painting??) let me tell you, GO PINK.  You will make a LOT of money.

3.  Perhaps one of the most obvious (other than see through panties) search hit that brings folks in?  Well, of course, “how to be the perfect housewife”!  It. Was. A. Joke. People.

4.  When I went to peek at my logs to see what exactly people were search hitting me with, I was amused (more than I had any right to be) by this one: “jesus stand at the door”.  I can’t smother the giggles and snickers that come any time I think of that series of entries.  Those amused me far more than they ever amused anyone else.  Guess, well, ya just had to be there.

5.  “deuteronomy” is another surprising search hit that undoubtedly disappoints the searcher considering how blasphemous my tone tends to be when discussing religion.  Oh.  I know.  I’m going to hell.  Of this I have no doubt.  Hey, we all have to have goals, don’t knock mine just because they’re different than yours!

6.  Now, I’m not saying I am, not saying I’m not, but, well, “slut head.com”?  Yeesh.  Made most amusing by Google’s snippets:

Oh, and you’re wife is aa two-timing, dirty slut. Just saying.” “I love you. No. Shush. Listen. I really love you, and I know you love me, too. ...

Drunken Slut. I wasn’t going to share this story because I’m still burning with raging embarrassment, but by special request, here it is. ...

poophead.com and through the head.com also made it to my site, amusingly.  Greeeat.

7.  “Unconditional love” is a fallacy. we all know it, but apparently people search for proof on Google.

8.  For the record, it wasn’t MY naked, “slutty pussy” I only claimed the pussy because it was amusing and a reader and beloved friend offered her pussy up for display on my blog.  Also for the record, the post was purely to pull in more search hits.  It worked.

9.  Now, I do have my ears pierced.  Someday I might get my nipples pierced (or maybe just one…?) But I can assure you, I do not have a through head piercing.  I am assuming the searcher was merely trying to find out more about a Prince Albert, though I can’t say for sure.

10.  Undoubtedly, the most offensive of all the searches (to me - and probably only because the truth hurts) has been “small saggy”, also from the post mentioned in #9 in which I discuss things I hate about myself.  Wow.  I’m too hard on myself.

11.  There are a great many things I want to do in this life.  Not many things come up that I’d like to do after this life, though, but apparently someone out there wants “to outrun others through death”.  I haven’t any idea what in the hell that means, but I will be contemplating that one for days to come.

12.  Disturbing, though mildly amusing, was “i want my therapist to spank me”.  Oh sure. I like HTL (Hot Therapist Lady)... just not in that way.  I’m all for spankings, but not while trying to sort through issues.  One painful experience at a time, please.

13.  Everyone enjoys my cybering logs, so it’s no surprise people are searching the whole net to get to read them.  MMmm… Andrea, watch out, baby, I’m coming for more eyebrow knee and nothing you say is going to stop me!

Posted by Liberty on 07/12 at 02:54 PM
Posted under: Writing PromptThursday Thirteen

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